Tips for the Conversationally Impaired

So, last night (*ahem* this morning) when I was really really awake and couldn't think of sleeping except for the fact that it was almost 2 AM... I decided to write a song.

Because I feel very strongly about this, and when you feel strong emotions you must sing them.

At least in your head... 1:45 AM is not a good time to awaken my mother!

(For a more enjoyable experience, imagine to a country-western-ish tune with twangy guitars and shakers for percussion. Also, the performer has a sardonic expression on her face. And she is wearing pink sequins, because she likes pink sequins.)

"Better Unsaid"

I get that I'm a skinny sprout-

That doesn't mean we must talk about

Minutia of my physical appearance.

And sure, I might be kind of smart,

But we don't need to pull apart

This groundwork of my pitiful existence.

And now I say, I cannot take this!

There's something that's awfully amiss.

And so I hope you understand

My ranting, raving, crazed demands--

Please, oh, please.

There's lots of stuff out there that's true

That you don't need to say!

Remember decency, oh, do--

'Cause you're driving me crazy...

And before I shoot myself in the head

Remember:

Some things are better left unsaid.

I think there is one golden rule

To keeping conversations cool:

Think before you even start to talk.

Just because a thing is true,

It doesn't mean it will help you

Or me-- please don't persist or I shall squawk!

And now I say, I cannot take this!

There's something that's awfully amiss.

And so I hope you understand

The message of an imaginary band--

Please, oh, please.

There's lots of stuff out there that's true

That you don't need to say!

Remember decency, oh, do--

'Cause you're driving me crazy...

And before I shoot myself in the head

Remember:

Some things are better left unsaid.

And this is my song.

Because so many things go wrong

When you say weird things for way too long

And my feelings on this topic are very very strong...

So please, oh, please.

There's lots of stuff out there that's true

That you don't need to say!

Remember decency, oh, do--

'Cause you're driving me crazy...

And before I shoot myself in the head

Remember:

Some things are better left unsaid.

*thank you, thank you*

and that will be all for tonight.

Katie

Join us next time for an extensive disquisition on delusional high school boys... just kidding. sort of.